The Truth about Weight Loss - My Weight Loss Journey
In a Bridget Jones Diary style I write about my weight loss journey to share with the world the truth about losing weight. It's definitely not easy, we all know that, but now someone is bold enough to present the real side of the story. I hope that you will enjoy the read and that many of you can relate to stories I share.
If I had to name my biggest motivation for losing weight and if you wanted a real answer...I want to look HOT!
Most of my life I have struggled with my weight. In around 2002/3 I lost a whole stack of weight and I looked great! (All modesty aside of course!) I could fit into a size 10-12 pants which I can hardly believe now. I am annoyed that I allowed myself to gain weight again and blossom to my state today.
Before I get all depressed again, I have to remember that I did use to be 10kgs heavier than I am today, so at least I am not where I used to be and I have a goal for where I want to be!
I want to be able to wear clothes from Witchery, Country Road, Ojay, Portmans and all of those other gorgeous brands that only really fits people up to a size 12! I want to be able to wear a shirt tucked in! I want to be able to wear a belt! A dress! A skirt! Things other than black! I want to be able to wear something sleeveless!
Ok, so say you walk into an apparel store. You avoid all the clothes that are for tall people (oh, did I mention that I'm also 5'1?...I know vertically and horizontally challenged!), so now we're down to 75% of the store. Next we have to avoid anything with a "cling" to it, which takes us down to 50% of the store. Our next items to avoid or walk straight past are all the light coloured items - especially white, cream, beige, so now we're down to 25% of the store. All dresses and skirts - OUT, so now we're at 10% of the store. Prints, horizontal stripes, patterns...gone...gone...gone...now we're at 2%.
Out of the leftover items, out of the 2% of the store...what's left? Size 8 and accessories! PUH-LEEZE!!!!
Ok, so usually if I get as far as packing my gym gear, it doesn't get to see anymore than my suitcase.
This time, I actually used it! I know, incredible right? It's ok, I'm just as shocked. All these baby steps I have made has actually led me down a path I never actually thought I would visit. I actually CHOSE to exercise this afternoon.
We managed to finish on time today and I had the afternoon to myself. After a take away lunch and sitting in an office all day, I felt disgusting. I was heavy in my stomach, I had a headache, a back ache and I just felt lousy!
So I just made the decision that I would go to the gym. I didn't give one thought to "oh my gosh, people are going to look at me" and just made the decision to go. It felt great! I went on one of those cross-trainers and it just felt good.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not enrolling in the next tri-athalon or anything, but it just felt like my body was processing the food that I ate at lunch. It got to 10 mins and I was ready to say "yep, surely this counts as exercise!"...but I remembered something my husband told me. As soon as you're ready to give up, keep going! I know, craaaaazy! Apparently it's this "going the extra" that really makes a difference. So I did!
I kept going. I focused on a point on the wall and just kept pumping. Then, get this, an older man got onto the machine next to me and was going faster than me. I don't know about you, but this made me focus on how fast he was going, and made me keep going! I think it's because I had a different focus. I didn't concentrate on the minutes going by, or how hard I was finding it...or that I just didn't want to break out as the 'fat woman who has gone all red in the face'. I was distracted by this old guy going faster than me and I just had to prove a point!
I kept going.
I got to the 18 min mark and from there, it was the longest 2 mins of my life!!! However, I had gotten this far, so I pushed some more...and not to expand on these two minutes anymore...I made it to the 20mins!
Ok, so I'm changing my 2 year old daughter's nappy whilst on vacation in Port Douglas, QLD a few weeks ago and she exclaims "Mummy! It's a balloon!".
I am perplexed and there are no balloons in the vicinity, so I probe further to find out what has captured her eye.
"Darling, what are you looking at, where is the balloon?"
To which she points towards me and repeats "Balloon, mummy, Balloon!"
To my horror I follow her pointer finger directly pointing to my tummy which is highlighted in a pair of a boardshorts - that are never kind to a "pear shaped" figure as my own.
"Oh darling, that's not a balloon! That's mummy's tummy...and shall we never speak of this again?"
As you can imagine, it wasn't a highlight of my vacation but rather a confirmation that 2010 must be a weight loss year (again!).
I could say that it's weight gain due to having a baby, but some would call that "lying". I could say that I have big bones, but standing at 5"1 (ok, fine 5" 1/2)...I don't think anyone would believe that I have big bones!
No, the reality is, I set my metabolism to "slow" a LONG time ago and I lack commitment to be truly successful at living at a healthy weight.
So, why do I think that 2010 is going to be anything different to every other year that I've committed to weight loss? Well, here's a list:
1. I don't feel healthy. Just forget walking anywhere! I feel like I've run a marathon if I walk around the block!
2. I hate clothing shopping. I know, can you imagine? I really do hate getting hot and sweaty in the change room trying to squeeze into a pair of pants, or trying on a top that likes to highlight my "extra layers", or only shopping for black!!!
3. If I do want to have another baby, I have to lose at least 20 kgs, medical fact I reckon. This is especially true because I had high blood pressure during my pregnancy.
4. I have diabetes in the family. Enough said.
5. I have family who is also losing weight, so I have my support network.
6. I'm just going to do it!
I think it's important not to be discouraged by failed attempts at weight loss. You just need to push past it and focus on the future and all the benefits!
Every day of healthy eating gives you renewed strength and I'm sure builds healthy cells and does wonders for your body, so take each day at a time!
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